


I'm Lighter When I'm Lower (Higher When I'm Heavy)

by orphan_account



Series: Trench [3]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Blow Jobs, Drug Use, Experimentation, M/M, Mild torture, Nico and the Niners inspired, References to Drugs, Rough Sex, alcohol use, dema, like it's not really bondage but there's your warning, mild bondage, nine bishops - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:57:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When the bishops go to sleep, the city awakes.





	I'm Lighter When I'm Lower (Higher When I'm Heavy)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!!!! Thank you for reading. This fic is a twist on Nico and the Niners and inspired by a number of things, most notably Black Mirror and some aspects of Stranger Things. Feel free to ask questions in the comments if you get confused.
> 
> I'm so excited for Dema. Every time a new video is posted, I'm over the moon.

“Wake up.”

He opens his eyes. The room is flooded with white, making it unable for him to see anything but golden halos.

“Can you wiggle your fingers for me?”

He complies, moving the tips of his fingers for the disembodied voice.

“Now your toes.” He moves those too. “What is your name?”

His brain is a blank canvas and his answers are repetitious, from memory, “Tyler Robert Joseph.”

The voice laughs. “I’ve always had high hopes for you, Joseph. I’m glad they haven’t killed you yet.”

Tyler does not respond.

-

“I wanna blow you,” a stranger yells at him over the pound of the bass. This nightclub is popular tonight. The entire city seems to be in here.

Tyler doesn’t remember his day or how he got here. All he knows is that in the evenings, he parties.

He squints at the man and raises a hand to the shell of his ear. “What?”

“I said,” the stranger raises his voice, reaching out to push Tyler against the wall so he could lean in, “I want to  _ blow  _ you.”

Tyler is slow to react. He thinks it’s because of the pills the bouncers gave him at the front door; he likes the numbness though. It makes him feel good, makes him forget.

The man grabs him by the hand and begins to pull him across the club. The pulsating lights shine on his face, trapping Tyler in a trance. The world is blurring and he knows he won’t remember this in the morning, but he is trying hard to remember the man’s face.

“Did you take the pills?”

“You’re supposed to take the pills.” He blinks. “Did you not take the pills?”

The stranger doesn’t respond but opts for pushing open the restroom door instead. The lighting is dark and Tyler really has to squint to make out his facial features. Tyler watches the man dig through his pockets before finding what he seemed to be looking for.

More pills. Except these ones are red instead of blue.

“Take these,” he demands, putting them in Tyler’s hand. As Tyler stares blankly, the man begins fumbling with Tyler’s belt and pulling down his pants.

“What are they?” Tyler asks.

“Does it matter? Everyone only comes here to get fucked up, anyway.”

He’s right. Tyler is accustomed to dry-swallowing now, so he gulps them down and looks at the man between his legs. His blurry world begins to slow down.

“Your cock is fucking huge,” He says. Tyler laughs, his hands feeling for the man’s shoulders. “I don’t know if I can get it in my mouth.”

“Fuck off.” Tyler continues laughing, even with the stranger’s lips around his dick. He knows he won’t remember this in the morning. He never remembers anything.

“What’s your name?” The stranger leaves him in the restroom with his pants around his ankles. He pauses by the door and smiles.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Tyler wonders if the stranger will remember him.

-

“Wiggle your fingers for me.” He listens. “Now your toes.” His big toe pops. “What is your name?”

“Tyler Robert Joseph.”

“Good. Very good.” There is a cold breeze across his chest. “We’re going to do some tests today. Tests you’ve never done before.”

“Okay,” Tyler says, and he lets the light swallow him whole.

-

He swallows the pills and enters the nightclub. The bass rattles his ribcage.

“Hey!” Someone shouts out, catching Tyler’s attention. He shuffles over to the back of the club where groups of people are drinking and laughing. It’s the stranger. Tyler doesn’t remember him.

He pats the seat next to him and smiles as Tyler sits down. The lights are dark here too, but Tyler studies his face-- his crooked nose, straight teeth, curly hair. The others around them are snorting a purple powder.

“I told you I’d see you again,” he says. Tyler shakes his head and takes the rolled up bill he’s offered from the others. Their faces blur as he snorts the drug they’ve placed in front of him without question. He’s never questioned anything about the world he lives in.

The man frowns. “You don’t remember me.”

“Should I?” Tyler’s voice sounds detached from his body. He looks at his hands and sees six. That’s not right. How many hands is he supposed to have?

“We met last night.”

He shrugs. “Sorry.”

“You took the pills, didn’t you?”

“You’re supposed to take the pills.” Tyler looks back at him. “You’re supposed to.”

“What happens if you  _ don’t _ take the pills?” His eyes sparkle. “Why don’t you try?”

“Because we’re supposed to.”

The man shakes his head. “And you do everything you’re supposed to?”

“Of course.” Tyler tilts his head in confusion. What is this guy trying to get at?

The lights flash over the stranger’s face and Tyler notices a cut on his jaw. The music grows louder, hurting his eardrums.

“C’mon,” he demands, taking Tyler’s hand. He leads them away from the drugs, from the alcohol, from the people and the dancing. They cut through a small hallway where half-naked women walk around without their tops on and moans can be heard from behind curtains. He gives a security guard a few bills before pulling Tyler into a room of their own and shuts the curtain.

“What are we doing?”

“You need to think about the world you live in,” he says as he takes his shirt off. His body is nice but his skin is pale. Tyler shakes his head.

“I don’t need to. They take care of us.”

“Who do you think is ‘they,’ dude?”

A pause. “The bishops.”

He chuckles. It’s sharp and short. “So you know about that part. That’s surprising. Most people are too fucked to even know that.”

“What are you trying to say?”

The man slides his pants to his ankles and kicks them off, resting his hands on his hips. His boxers have ducks on them. Tyler laughs. The lights dim red.

“You don’t get it, do you?” He pushes Tyler onto the bed and climbs on top of him, his hands moving to unbutton Tyler’s shirt. “You never remember anything. All you do is show up here and get high.”

“I’m here to have fun.”

“Are you? You don’t even know me, and yet you’re letting me undress you.” He moves down, grinding his chest against Tyler’s half undressed one, his lips brushing Tyler’s ear. “You’re letting me  _ fuck _ you.”

“Feels good,” Tyler shrugs. He lets the man slide his shirt off of him.

“How many times do you get fucked in a week?” Tyler doesn’t reply because he doesn’t know the answer. He never aches, so it can’t be that much, can it? Unless he is fucking other people.

He scoffs. “You don’t even know the answer to that. Bet you don’t even know your name.”

_ What is your name? _

“I know my name,” Tyler argues, irritated. He’s helping the stranger take his pants off. The world he lives in is designed around his pleasure, so he’s going to take advantage. 

“Oh yeah? Tell me your name.”

“Tyler Joseph,” he beams. The stranger shakes his head.

“You do know your name. I’m impressed.”

“What’s your name?”

“You won’t remember me. It doesn’t matter.” Tyler is naked now. The man kisses the corner of his mouth and licks down his neck. Tyler closes his eyes and sighs.

“I’ll remember you.”

“You didn’t last night,” he argues, his mouth pressed against Tyler’s shoulder. Tyler grabs the man’s hips and slides his duck covered boxers off. “You didn’t remember when I had your dick in my mouth.”

“How come you remember me, then?” A chill runs down his spine.

“Because I ask questions.” His mouth runs the length of Tyler’s torso, all the way to the inside of his thigh. Tyler’s fingers dig into the bed sheets. “You aren’t like the rest of them, Tyler.”

His tongue is cold. Tyler’s head spins. The music beats against the walls of the room as his moans eat him whole.

“You’ll make the right choice one of these days.”

-

“Wiggle your fingers for me.” His knuckles pop and ache. “Now your toes.”

Tyler tries to see past the blinding white light, but it’s almost impossible. His head hurts.

“What is your name?”

“Tyler Robert Joseph.”

A laugh. “Very good. Very,  _ very _ good. We’re going to do some more tests today, alright Tyler?” Tyler does not reply. He’s too focused on trying to make out faces of the voices that speak to him.

“When you fail, it will hurt. Do not fail.” The buzz of electricity fills the air and the hair on his arms stands straight. For the first time, Tyler feels fear.

“Don’t hurt me,” he pleads.

“Do not fail,” the voice repeats.

-

The pills are blue. Tyler swallows them as he goes inside the nightclub.

The streets in this city are lined with nightclubs and full of stumbling, giggly people. He never remembers any of them, and wonders if they can ever remember the people they are with. He wonders, if, like him, they can’t remember anything about themselves.

The bass rattles his ribcage as usual as he makes his way to the bar. The girls making drinks are dressed in risque and briefly Tyler wonders if they are okay with that. Some men try and make advances at them. Are they numb like him? Do they know what they’re doing?

“What can I get for you, babe?” This one is blonde and her teeth are blinding.

“Vodka and Coke, please.” He taps his fingers on the bar countertop while she makes his drink and looks around the club. The dance floor in this one is large. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen these many people together in one place before. Of course, that he can remember.

His drink is strong when he takes the first sip after thanking the bartender. Tyler blinks a couple times as he stumbles forward towards a table and is met with hands around his waist.

“Tyler,” they mumble into his ear. Tyler twists his neck to see behind him, his drink sloshing over the edges.

“Have we met?” His voice slurs.

The stranger laughs, sliding his hands up to Tyler’s shoulders, where he begins to massage them gingerly. “I wanna make you feel good tonight.”

Tyler can’t make out the stranger’s face underneath the pulsating lights. The colors blur together, and he’s slow to react when he begins to get pulled across the dance floor, most of his drink ending up on passing dancers.

“I’ll get you a new one,” the stranger promises. He gives the security guard bills and pulls open the curtain to a private room. Tyler hears moaning in the room next to him and feels a strange sense of deja vu.

The lights have a red hue to them as Tyler falls onto his back and bends his legs at the knee. His pants are loose and easy to get off.

“You have a burn mark on your forehead,” he murmurs, reaching out to touch Tyler’s left temple. His fingers are soft.

“We’ve met before?” Tyler tries to clarify, ignoring the comment about the scorch mark on his head. He doesn’t remember burning himself. He must have done it when he was cooking.

“We’ve met several times before,” he replies, still touching Tyler’s face. His fingers slide across his cheekbones and over his nose.

“I don’t remember.”

“Of course you don’t,” he sounds aggravated. Tyler lets the man take his shirt off, leaving him only in his boxers. He leans his head back as the stranger kneels in between his legs and runs his tongue down Tyler’s stomach. He shivers with pleasure and smiles up at the ceiling.

“Am I supposed to remember you?”

“I suppose not.” His lips are pressed against Tyler’s belly button. It tickles.

“You remember me, though.”

“You don’t remember anyone you meet. You allow yourself to belong to them.”

“The bishops?”

“Obviously.” He uses his teeth to pulls Tyler’s boxers down to his thighs. Tyler doesn’t move.

“They lead us,” Tyler tries to explain. He squirms as the man’s tongue licks up his inner thigh. “Oh.”

“Feels good, yeah?” There’s a playful glint in his eye as he sheds his shirt and pants. “They want us to remember the pleasure, Tyler. That’s all they want us to remember.”

“They provide us with pleasure.”

“They provide us with lots of things. Pleasure just happens to be the one you remember.” Tyler frowns, his fingers twisting in the bed sheets as the stranger removes his boxers from his legs. He seductively licks his fingers before inching them toward Tyler’s ass. “It’s the only way I can get you alone to explain things to you.”

“You just wanna fuck me.” Tyler lets out quiet sounds as the man’s fingers push inside of him. It hurts but in a good way. He wants more.

“They don’t suspect anything if I fuck you,” he responds. His lips trail Tyler’s leg with kisses as his fingers stretch him wider.

“The bishops?”

“Who else?” His words are muffled by Tyler’s skin. “Have you ever been fucked, Tyler?”

Has he? He doesn’t remember. Surely he’s been fucked by other dudes if this is happening. Surely he’s fucked girls, maybe even guys himself.

The stranger laughs. “Why am I asking? You wouldn’t know.”

Tyler’s head swirls too much for him to answer. He tries to focus on the man in front of him reaching for the string of condoms the nightclub has provided.

“Is this the first time we’ve had sex?” Tyler asks the ceiling.

“Good question,” is his response. “First time you’ve seen my cock, though.”

Tyler wants to remember it, but he can hardly see straight as the man discards his own boxers to the side. Black spots cloud his vision as the stranger rolls the condom on. From what Tyler can make out, it isn’t that bad. He lets a moan slip as the image of this man’s flushed cock pushing inside of him takes over his brain.

The sex seems to last forever and not long enough all at the same time. The man kisses him roughly, tangling his fingers in Tyler’s long hair, his tongue licking everything it possibly can. Tyler is lost in a maze of pleasure.

“Don’t take the pills tomorrow,” he whispers.

“We’re supposed to,” Tyler responds, furrowing his eyebrows. “We’re supposed to.”

“Well don’t.”

“But that’s illegal.”

He grabs Tyler’s wrist. “Just this once. Don’t take the pills. You’ll see the truth, Tyler.” A smile. “Don’t take the pills, and I’ll tell you my name.”

Tyler stares the man with the crooked nose and white teeth and pale skin down. Even with his blurring vision, he knows this stranger is attractive.

“I don’t want to forget this night,” Tyler admits. The man kisses his cheek.

“Don’t take the pills.”

-

Tyler ends up in the blinding white light. His head stirs.

“Wiggle your fingers.”

“Wiggle your toes.”

“What is your name?”

“Tyler Robert Joseph,” he complies, staring into the light. The voice laughs. Tyler remembers that laugh.

“Take these, for the pain,” the voice demands. The pills fall into his mouth, and Tyler thinks about the stranger the previous night.  _ Don’t take the pills. _

Instead of swallowing, Tyler hides them under his tongue.

Minutes tick away with nothing happening. Tyler thinks they are waiting for the pills to kick in.

Sure enough, the light disappears, and Tyler is able to see men dressed in red cloaks-- something he was sure he had never seen before.

Or rather, remembered seeing before.

“Is he ready?”

“Enough time has passed. Get him hooked up.”

Tyler is scared, but he knows he isn’t supposed to be. He’s supposed to be numb and not remember this. He understands now what the stranger was explaining to him.

They attach wires to his head and arms. One of the hooded men slips an IV into the top of his hand and it takes everything he has not to hiss in pain. His jaw clenches painfully as he tries to keep the pills concealed.

“Alright, Joseph.” The voice he’s become familiar with bends down in front of him. Tyler can barely make out his face through the veil he has draped over it. “You didn’t do so well last week, so we have to start off with a bang this time, alright?”

Tyler nods blankly. He hopes they don’t notice the fear in his eyes.

“If you fail, it will hurt. Don’t worry though, you’ll forget about it soon enough.” He laughs, gesturing to the others behind him.

“Start with three seconds.”

-

His hair is falling out in clumps as he waits in line to get inside the nightclub. The bouncer gives him more blue pills and he once again hides them under his tongue. Instead of the glaze in his eyes like everyone else has, his are bloodshot.

They tortured him. He doesn’t even know how else to explain it. They tortured him, and he screamed. He tried so hard not to, but they didn’t seem to bat an eyelash at the screaming anyways. Maybe he always did that.

Usually, the pain would be gone by now, and Tyler would be numb. Tonight, he remembers everything. He even remembers the pain from that man’s cock in his ass. Tyler wonders if he will see the stranger tonight.

He waits, playing the part by ordering a drink from the bar. He’s at the same place as before, with that risque blond girl. Now that his head is clear, he can see the glaze over her eyes. Maybe she doesn’t know what she’s doing, just like everyone else in this place.

“Tyler!” Holy shit, it’s him. Tyler’s eyes widen and he slams his drink down on the counter, meeting the man halfway. He spits the pills into his hands and shoves them his way.

The man smiles. “You remember me.”

“I do.”

He nods his head in approval and gestures towards the back rooms. “C’mon. We gotta play the part.” Tyler follows, only because he knows the stranger knows way more than he does. It’s weird, being led down the same hallway as the previous night. Usually, he doesn’t remember anything that happens. Usually, he’s numb and blind to the truth.

The stranger gives the security guard another wad of bills and holds up the curtain for Tyler to enter. He stares at the made bed and the replenished condoms sitting on the table. He wonders if the bishops’ watch them while they do... things in these rooms. There are so many sounds around him at the moment that he’s never been able to hear all at once. Music pounds, people moan and squeal, and--

The stranger is stripping.

“I’m not having sex with you tonight,” Tyler says firmly. “I want answers.”

“I wasn’t planning on fucking you, Tyler. We need to play along, so,” he waves his hands, “get at least semi-nude.”

“Fine,” he agrees, slipping his pants off. He goes to unbutton his shirt when the man stops him, pressing a finger over his lips. Tyler freezes, letting the stranger push him onto the bed and climb in between his legs.

“Can they see us?” Tyler asks.

“No, not in here. But they monitor our heart rate, our stress levels, and a whole lot of other things. I took my chip out, but unless you somehow managed to figure out where yours is, you still have it in you.”

“Where?”

The stranger shushes him again, reaching over to kiss Tyler. Tyler allows him, still scared of all the things he doesn’t know, and jumps when the man bites his neck.

“Ow! What the hell, dude?”

The man pulls away and spits a small, black chip into his hand. Tyler touches his neck and realizes he’s now bleeding. “Got it. You should be good now.”

Tyler glares at him. “Who the hell are you?”

He chuckles softly. “Guess you deserve to know that, huh?” A pause. “Josh Dun.”

“Josh,” Tyler replies. “Interesting.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Tyler smiles. Josh shakes his head.

“Okay, we just need to pretend everything is normal.” He kisses Tyler’s cheek again. “What’d you learn?”

“They’re torturing us.”

“They hurt you again,” Josh says. He looks back at the curtain before leaning in to lap away the blood staining Tyler’s neck.

“That’s disgusting,” Tyler says.

“Play your part,” Josh says back. “What did they do to you?”

“They shocked me. They kept wanting me to do something, but I’m not sure what they wanted me to do, exactly. They just said to not fail.”

“And you didn’t have the pills to numb the pain.” His voice is a whisper. Tyler nods.

“Staying quiet was hard, too. I can’t believe we’re all trapped here, not able to remember anything--” He pauses. “How long have you known about this?”

“It’s been a year,” Josh’s reply is muffled against Tyler’s neck. “The longer you don’t take the pills, the more you know.”

Tyler pushes him away, a frown on his face. “How many times have we met?”

“Only a few times. I’ve seen you a lot, though. It’s really hard to get to you.”

His frown deepens. “Whaddya mean?”

“Do you not see the security guards everywhere?” Josh gestures towards the curtain. “I had to bribe that one just to get you in here alone.”

“But... why? Why me?”

Josh shrugs. “They are really set on finding one of us who can make it past all their tests.”

“But I haven’t made it past their tests. They keep telling me not to fail--”

“You’re doing something right if they’re keeping you around.” His tongue runs the length of Tyler’s collarbone, sending shivers down his spine. He looks Josh in the eyes as Josh finishes unbuttoning Tyler’s shirt. “Once you’ve failed them, they throw you to the wolves.”

“What about all the others?”

“Possible subjects. They keep us sedated and numb until it’s our turn.”

“What about you?” He slides his shirt down his arms and reaches out to stop Josh’s hands. “Why are you still around?”

“They do things to me too,” Josh admits. “You just don’t see the results.”

“And you’ve been dealing with the pain for over a year?”

“Give or take.” His lips stop right above Tyler’s right nipple. Josh’s nose brushing against his chest tickles. “I’m thinking of getting out.”

“How?”

“There’s an underground tunnel near one of the walls. People have been escaping through it. I’ve been planning my escape for the past couple of weeks now.”

“What if you get caught?”

“That’s why I’m planning. I’m being careful.” His lips continue to hover right above Tyler’s nipple, waiting for something. Permission, maybe?

“Are you asking me to come with you?” Tyler’s breath is warm.

“You could if you wanted to. Maybe not right away, but I could come back and get you.”

“Will they notice if I’m gone?”

“Most likely. They’re gonna notice if I’m gone too though, so it doesn’t matter in the end.” The guard stirs outside, loud enough to be heard over the music and moans, so Tyler pushes Josh further into his chest. Tyler shivers as Josh finally runs his tongue over his nipple.

“Make noise,” Josh demands. Tyler listens, letting out a loud grunt. He looks over at the curtain and hopes they’re believable enough.

“You actually got me hard,” Tyler whispers after a few seconds. Josh scoffs.

“You’re surprised about that?” His tongue moves down the length of Tyler’s stomach, pausing right at the hem of his boxers. “I know you didn’t want to have sex, but--”

“Go for it,” Tyler waves his hand, ready at this point to have someone take care of his erection. Besides, this would be the first time he’d actually be conscious through the process.

Josh’s eyes flash with hunger as he peels Tyler’s boxers off of him. “Lay flat.” He’s bossy again, but Tyler is okay with it. He feels like if he got to know the real Josh, the Josh outside of this place, he’d be a lot less blocked off. This is Tyler’s first day without the pills; it’s been a while for Josh.

He doesn’t ask questions as Josh slides off the bed and pulls rope out of his pants pocket. Tyler blinks, watching him carefully, debating if he should say something as Josh ties his ankles and wrists to the bedposts.

“Are they loose enough?” Josh asks. Tyler tugs.

“Yeah. What is happening?”

He’s back at his pants pockets, pulling out a small tube of purple powder. Tyler recognizes it. Everyone in this place snorts that drug.

Josh taps the powder out from Tyler’s belly button up his happy trail until no more remains and tosses the tube onto the ground. He then strips and makes himself comfortable, sitting directly in Tyler’s lap. That fucking bastard; the minute their cocks touch, Tyler is tugging at the ropes like a crazy person.

“What are you doing?” He asks again, breathless.

“You trust me?” Josh looks at him with his hungry eyes again. Tyler sucks in a breath.

“Yeah.”

“This isn’t just me being kinky, okay? Although I wouldn’t mind sucking anything off your body.” He smirks. “This is a diversion, a distraction. Follow my lead.”

Josh is hard too, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting him as much as it is Tyler. He lowers himself down, bringing his nose directly to Tyler’s belly button. Tyler bites his tongue and shifts uncomfortably.

“If you take the drug--”

“It’s fake,” Josh murmurs. He licks his tongue up Tyler’s happy trail, coating it in powder. There’s a tiny bit on his nose too. He looks back at the curtain before returning to the fake drugs on Tyler’s stomach.

“You’re the one they’re focusing on right now, understand me? We have to play dumb. We’re nothing more than sex hungry Dema citizens.” Josh scoots down to move his tongue to Tyler’s inner thigh. Tyler squirms again. He knows he told Josh the ropes were loose enough, but he still thinks he’ll have raw wrists in the morning. “They have eyes everywhere.”

“The men outside,” Tyler pants, “are they watching me too?”

“Everyone is watching you,” Josh concludes.

“You said there weren’t cameras in here.” Josh doesn’t reply, just sinks lower in between Tyler’s legs. Tyler closes his eyes and bites his tongue.

“Make noise,” Josh hisses. He licks down Tyler’s cock. Tyler listens to him, letting his back arch off the bed. “Louder.”

He obeys.

“You drank tonight, right?”

“Yes.” His voice is strained. Josh’s nose is buried in his pubic hair.

“Good.” Josh’s tongue is everywhere. Tyler wants to touch Josh so bad, wants to feel the sweat on his skin and feel Josh’s lips pressed against his. Instead, he’s left to pull at the rope binding him to the bed and moan under Josh’s touch.

“Are you going inside of me, Josh?” Josh sits back up with an eyebrow cocked. His smile is filthy.

“I thought you didn’t want sex tonight, Tyler.”

“Say my name again.”

“Tyler,” he repeats, his voice a whisper. Josh lowers his chest down, barely touching Tyler’s, as he kisses him. His hand sneaks to the side for a condom. “Tyler Joseph.” He speaks through his teeth. “You want me inside of you?”

“Come inside of me,” Tyler about yells. When Josh goes to pull out of the kiss, Tyler bites his lip, sucking him back in.

“You’re really playing the part here.”

“Maybe I’m not playing anymore,” Tyler looks at him with lust, “maybe I really do want you inside of me.”

Someone in one of the other rooms lets out a scream, pulling Josh’s attention away. Tyler curses under his breath as Josh slides off the bed and pokes his head behind the curtain.

“What?”

Josh holds up his hand. Tyler continues to stare at his ass. Is this what he’s been missing out on? How many times have they fucked each other? 

“The guard is gone,” Josh concludes when he comes back in. “I think they’re checking up on the problem. We don’t have to play along anymore.”

“But I said--”

Josh grins. “I know what you said. Now I can be myself.”

Tyler grins back. “Come on then. Fuck me.”

“Consider it done.”

-

In the blinding light, Tyler overhears the bishops talking about the nightclub.

“A girl overdosed.”

“How? She isn’t supposed to be given more than the normal dosage.”

Someone clears their throat. “We believe there is some kind of illegal drug trade going on. People are bribing the guards.”

“Fuck!” Tyler hears glass shattering and a loud thump. “Kill the guards then.”

“Sir--”

“Kill the fucking guards! I will not have our people showing defiance against us. We  _ own  _ them, understand? They are  _ ours!” _

“Yes, sir.” A pause. “What about the citizens participating in the trade?”

“I guess they’ll just have to overdose too, won’t they?”

Tyler’s eyes widen. He settles himself and pretends to be under the effects of the pills as one of the hooded men comes over to him. A hand touches his face.

“Oh, Joseph. I’m beginning to get worried. You haven’t shown any signs yet, and it’s getting close to your release date. I really don’t want things to go badly for you.”

His sincerity sounds fake and it takes everything Tyler has not to flee.

The man pushes hair out of Tyler’s face. “Today is the day. Show us you are the one.”

Tyler is hooked back up to that weird machine with the wires and has his IV plugged back into him. He tries not to look around the room, but right ahead with a glazed look. He bites his tongue and thinks of Josh. Josh has done this every day for over a year. If Josh can do it, so can he.

“Ten seconds.”

“Sir? That’s insane. He’ll die.”

The man smiles underneath his dirty veil. “No, he won’t. His body won’t let him.”

“We’ve gone up to five seconds and he’s about passed out. What makes you think he won’t die?” The voice fighting for him is the one who believes in him. Tyler clenches his jaw. The pills roll uncomfortably under his tongue.

The man with the dirty veil steps forward and grabs Tyler’s chin. He turns his head aggressively, his long fingernails digging into skin so hard Tyler is sure he’ll bruise. “He’s tried to escape once, remember?”

No. Tyler most certainly does  _ not _ remember that.

He continues on. “He managed to escape right under our noses and I had to go get him, had to drag him back after he had been beaten half to death. Those fucking rebel bastards about got him, but we won. He’s ours.” A pause. “I know why they want him. They only take the special ones back to camp. The others perish in Trench.”

“What makes you think that, sir?”

He glares at the other masked men. “I know everything.” After letting go of Tyler’s chin, he steps away and waves his hand. “Ten seconds. If he dies, then so be it.”

The others nod. Tyler braces himself, his teeth pressed so hard against his tongue that he swears he’ll start bleeding in a few seconds. The machine starts up with a buzz and the hair on his arms stand straight up.

He’s waiting, waiting so impatiently for the pain to come, but it never does. He wants to look around and ask why, but that would be a dead giveaway that he’s conscious through all of this. Instead, he continues to chew on his tongue and waits for the others to speak for him.

The machine groans before smoke begins pouring out of it. The men rush to turn it off.

“I can’t believe it.”

“He did it.”

“He actually fucking did it!”

_ What did I do? _ Tyler thinks. He notices a thin, silver film over his arms out of the corner of his eye and swallows nervously.

“I told you it wouldn’t let him die. I knew he was one of them.”

“What now?”

“I want to see what else he’s capable of doing. Send him off. He’s done enough for today. He deserves some pleasure.” 

-

Josh is holding a daisy in his hand when Tyler enters the club. He spits the pills out into the garbage and orders a Vodka Redbull, his hands shaking as he sits down at the table next to the curly haired boy. Josh has a black eye, Tyler notices. It’s new because he has dried blood in his hair.

“They hurt you,” he says, reaching out to touch Josh’s cheek. Josh turns away and lays the daisy on the table.

“That shouldn’t be surprising,” Josh replies. He reaches for Tyler’s drink and takes a sip. “We can’t talk here. Come on.”

They’re going to fuck again. Tyler’s used to this by now and doesn’t mind it, but Josh seems out of it. He picks up the flower and leads Tyler to the back rooms. The guard from the previous night is gone, replaced with a bigger, buffer man. Josh frowns.

“The bishops found out,” Tyler remembers the conversation earlier, “about the bribes. They killed all the guards.”

“Fuck,” Josh mutters, pulling Tyler the opposite way. They exit the nightclub and head down the street with eyes burning holes in their backs. “Act numb,” he whispers. Tyler complies.

“Where are we going?”

“A different nightclub.”

“They’ll know who I am, though.”

Josh pauses. “Back to my apartment,” he finally says. They turn down an alleyway and walk a ways down the road before stopping out front of a fire escape. Josh sticks the daisy between his teeth and pulls himself up the ladder, offering a hand to Tyler. They climb to the top of the building where Josh opens his window and sneaks inside.

Josh’s apartment looks exactly like Tyler’s. Tyler shouldn’t be surprised, but he is. Everything is exactly the same here and everyone is walking around like mindless zombies. 

Josh sets the flower on the kitchen table and sighs. He drags a hand down his face and grimaces as his fingers brush over his eye. He must have forgotten, Tyler guesses.

“What’s the flower for?” No reply. Josh sits down at the table and waits for Tyler to do the same.

“Tell me what else you learned,” Josh demands. He is cold again. He is the shell of what used to be a man.

“They tried to electrocute me, and something happened. I think... I think I broke the machine. There was like, this silver film over my skin, protecting me or something.”

Josh smiles. “So you are special, then.”

“Why me, though?”

A shrug. “They did experiments on us all. This isn’t our world. They stole us and raised us here in this fucking shithole.”

“So the experiments--”

“They want to create the perfect human race,” Josh interrupts, continuing his explanation. “People die. We’re all different. Some of us survive and move on, while others become dumber and dumber until they get themselves killed.”

“So you’re saying I passed?”

“You passed. Congratulations.”

Tyler frowns. “So what happens now?”

“They let you live out your life behind the walls. They’ll lower your dosage so you aren’t as stupid as the others, so you can continue living until they are ready to go through their perfect human slaves. You’ll be marked, though, so the others can spot you from everyone else.”

“What’s behind the walls, Josh?” Tyler tilts his head. “Where did we actually come from?”

“Out there is Trench. Where we came from, though...” he shakes his head and sighs. “I don’t know. No matter how many days you last without the pills, the second they enter your bloodstream, you forget. I have no clue who I was before this place. I have no clue where I came from or who my family is. All I know is what I’ve learned in Dema and how to escape.”

“Trench. The bishops said I managed to get to Trench, but I don’t remember that at all.”

Josh is quiet. Tyler taps his fingers against the tabletop and shapes his statement into a question. “Did I really get to Trench?”

“I lied,” Josh says. Tyler frowns.

“What?”

“I said we had only met a few times before you remembered, but I lied. We met three years ago.”

“We-- what?” Tyler feels numb, but not the numb he felt from the pills. His heart beats against his chest rapidly and his stomach clenches. Josh leans back in his chair and begins picking petals off his bright yellow flower.

“I haven’t taken the pills in three years.”

Three years of constant pain and agony. Three years of dealing with sexed and drugged up citizens grinding against each other in shitty nightclubs. “Why would you lie about that?”

“Because. Because I--” He chokes and curses under his breath. “I haven’t been able to see you in so long. I had to find you. I had to build up the courage to find you.”

Tyler tries to connect the dots. “So when I... when I managed to escape...”

“We had planned to leave together, but the Banditos came in and rioted. They are the ones who’ve managed to escape this place, the ones marked who realized they would be made into slaves if they stuck around. They wanted to free everyone, thinking they would win, even if not everyone could get out. You managed to get out, but I was taken back with a group of others. They lined us all up, and...” Josh’s eyes are watering. Tyler wonders how long it’s been since he’s discussed this out loud with someone. At least three years. “They started shooting. They fucking massacred us. I got hit in the arm, so I dropped down, hoping I could play dead. They didn’t bother checking the bodies, just walked out to get more who participated in the Bandito riot. You had told me before you left that you would come for me. I believed you. I waited every day for an entire year for you to come back, hiding the pills under my tongue and pretending I was just as drugged up as the rest of the people. They succeeded in their experiments, and I was marked as one of the special ones.” He lifts his right arm up, revealing a black symbol tattooed into his skin. “One day, I saw you. You were walking into a nightclub, and I chased after you. Your face was fucked up badly. They hadn’t even bothered to clean you up, just had you swallow the pills and sent you on your way. It wasn’t like anyone would really notice you anyways. The pills make everyone forget.

“I took you into the bathroom, cleaned you up, and realized you didn’t remember me. I had spent an entire year thinking you had forgotten about me, and when I realized that you had no idea who I was, I panicked. I would come to the nightclub to watch you, to see if you could remember and snap out of it, but you never could. They fucked with your head. They wanted you to  _ suffer _ for managing to escape. I was so overwhelmed that some nights I couldn’t even manage to see you. As I gained courage, I started talking to you every night, started leaving my mark to see if I could convince you to stop taking the pills. It took awhile, but you finally listened.” He smiles lamely and flops his arms down on the table. “We loved each other, Tyler.”

Tyler shakes his head. No. That can’t be right. Josh was beautiful and talented and smart; Tyler wouldn’t forget that, wouldn’t forget him. He wouldn’t forget a riot, wouldn’t forget escaping this place, wouldn’t forget the torture that greeted his return. How could he forget all of that?

He doesn’t want to make Josh even sadder, so instead, he says, “I knew there was a reason why I was so comfortable having you inside me every night.”

It gets Josh to laugh, but tears still fall down his cheeks. “We’d switch off and on, before then. It’s been so weird for me to have you listen to my demands.”

“I’m sorry I don’t remember,” Tyler says. “I wouldn’t have left you here alone. I would have come for you.”

“I know,” Josh replies. “I know.” Finally, he pushes the remains of the flower towards the middle of the table. “It’s time for me to leave. They sent me this.”

“The Banditos?”

“Yes. I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

Tyler is quiet. He stares at the yellow flower petals with great intent. “What about me?”

“I’ll come back for you, I promise. I won’t let you be stuck here. I’ve been planning for a while, communicating with the others, so they know I’ll be back to get you. You’ll get sent one of these when it’s time.”

“Where do I go?”

“The square. They’ll send you a time to meet. I promise I’ll be there.”

“I believe you,” Tyler nods his head. He’s still staring at the flower petals. “I... I want to try things with you. I don’t know if that will be hard for you--”

“Not at all. I’d love to start trying again.” He smiles, the jumping shadows in his apartment hiding his black eye. “After all, I have been trying to get you out of the haze for almost two years now, right?”

“I guess that’s true.” They sit in silence. Tyler can faintly hear the music from the nightclubs downtown. “Why yellow?”

“It’s the hope of the people,” Josh responds. He stands up from the table and stretches, his too-short shirt exposing his midriff. Tyler looks at the pale skin on his V lines and smiles.

“Can I fuck you tonight? Before you leave. Besides,” he shrugs, “I don’t know the last time I’ll get to see you naked again.”

Josh is smiling again as he nods his head. “Yes. Definitely.”

In the darkness of Dema, the two make love in deviance, in rebellion, of the leaders so dedicated to creating slaves that they would suck the life from their own people. Tyler is soft, gentle, and loves the feel of Josh’s skin against his. He feels like he can remember this in the past, him inside Josh, pushing on his rippling back muscles, but then again, he might think he remembers simply because Josh is yelling his name. Their kisses are passionate and lovely instead of cold and necessary. Josh is soft and his skin is slick. He is Tyler’s whole world for this night and this night only.

He is Tyler’s savior.

“I promise I’ll come back for you,” are his last words.

“I know,” Tyler says. And he does.

-

Josh is gone in the morning, leaving Tyler alone in his bedsheets. They smell like him.

Tyler knows he needs to play the role he’s been playing for the past two days, the role Josh has been playing for years.

There are no “wiggle your fingers” and “wiggle your toes” when Tyler comes in. They strap him down, feed him the pills (that he hides under his tongue) and have him stare into the blinding white light.

“We’re going to give you a tattoo today, Joseph,” says the voice. Tyler stares into the light absentmindedly.

The buzz of the tattoo gun fills the air and he bites his tongue as the needle presses against the back of his arm. It isn’t the best feeling in the world, but he manages to push through the uncomfortableness until they are finished. He lets them bandage his arm up and walk him over to the electrical machine. For a second, Tyler wonders what makes Josh “special.” Does he have some force field protecting him from death too? Can he walk through walls? Or fly?

Maybe he can read minds or talk to animals. 

Today, they blindfold him. Tyler doesn’t understand why, since the drugs are supposed to make him numb to his surroundings, but he goes along with it. The hook him up to the electricity and slide the IV into his hand. He continues to chew on his tongue and think of Josh. Josh will come back. Josh will save him.

“We’re going to see if your little force field can be extended to others,” the man says. Tyler can feel the fabric of the blindfold against his eyelashes. He hears a scuffle of feet and the meow of a cat. His heart drops.

“This adorable little kitten will die if you don’t save it,” his voice is a bitter whisper, “and you will be punished. Don’t fail us.”

Tyler doesn’t know how to control whatever the hell makes him so special. Hurting him is one thing, but hurting animals? That’s fucked up.

He has no clue what to do, so he hopes he can please the bishops. The blindfold makes sense now; even in a drugged up haze, he’d be able to see the cat in front of him. This guarantees that Tyler has to make things work.

The air fills with an electric buzz. Tyler continues praying that the poor creature won’t die. He thinks about Josh sitting in here day after day dealing with the pain, waiting to find Tyler, waiting for Tyler to remember him and remember who he was. Waiting for Tyler to stop taking the pills and realize that he was being held prisoner to Dema.

A few seconds pass before the electricity leaves the air. When the cat meows in fear, Tyler sighs with relief. Whatever is protecting him seemed to realize the severity of this situation.

“Well done, Joseph. I’m impressed. Maybe the others were right about you after all.” He feels those nails dig into his jaw, the same ones from the day before and lets goosebumps rise to his skin. “And to think you almost managed to get out of here. We  _ need _ you. You will never leave again.”

Tyler shivers again as he hears the bishop’s footsteps disappear down the hall.

-

He goes to the nightclubs again just for the sake of playing his part and watches all the people who are oblivious to what is going on around them. The people with glazed eyes snorting colorful powder and swallowing pills handed to them.  He thinks about the people who were killed because they wanted to be free. He thinks about the rebels, the banditos, risking their lives to save the people trapped behind these walls.

Tyler thinks about Josh and hopes he is free, wandering Trench with the rest of the rebels.

Someone sits down next to him, and he sees the tense stance of the security guard standing across the floor. When the bishops move on to the next “special” person, he’ll be forgotten like the others, left to roam Dema in a drugged up coma.

-

Tyler keeps track of passing days with tally marks on his bedroom walls. He keeps a packed bag under his bed and plays his role, hoping each day will be the day that Josh comes to rescue him. Part of him thinks Josh will make him wait a whole year before coming back, but the rational part of him knows Josh is too nice to make him wait that long. He feels like it was his fault that Josh had to wait so long, even if he was captured and drugged once more. Josh doesn’t blame him. He’s too nice for that.

The bishops continue with their experiments. Tyler hides his pills and wanders around nightclubs. He can do this. He can do this because Josh did it for him.

And he will do it for Josh.

-

A month passes. Two months go by, and then three. Josh is nowhere to be seen. 

Tyler continues his daily routine and prays that Josh will be here soon.

-

He counts the number of tally marks. One hundred.

One hundred days since Josh has left.

His temples have scars from burns. His arms and legs ache. His head stirs.

But he continues his life in Dema with the hope that one day, he will be free.

-

Day one hundred and seventeen. Tyler receives a flower and a note.

He laughs when he sees Josh’s name at the end of the writing. They’re coming tonight. He’s getting out tonight.

For a second, Tyler sits at his dinner table and picks the petals off the daisy. He thinks of Josh all those months ago, picking off petals as he told Tyler he had known him for the past three years.

Tyler wonders what the two of them did that he can’t remember. He wonders if Josh would tell him if he asked. It’s no doubt Josh was upset that Tyler couldn’t remember all the time they had spent together. He was sure he would be just as upset and frustrated if that was the case.

He wished he could remember who he had been before Dema. What was his family like? Were they stuck here in Dema too? Did he have brothers? Sisters?

Did Josh have siblings?

Did they know each other outside of Dema?

All these questions were hurting his head. Tyler would never get to know what his life was like before the bishops made him forget. All he could focus on was the future, on  _ his _ future with Josh. He had loved Josh in the beginning, and he was falling in love with him with each passing day. 

Tyler slides his bag over his shoulder and looks around his sad apartment one last time. This is it. He’s leaving. He’s getting out.

Even at three in the morning, the clubs are thumping and drunk citizens stumble onto the streets. He’s not surprised that people are still out; after all, he probably stayed out until the sun rose most nights. 

Tyler stays in the shadows, avoiding the bouncers and security guards. Even though they don’t care about him as much as they used to, he doesn’t want to risk it. His stomach twists and his head pounds, but he knows it will all be worth it. In a few short hours, Tyler would see Josh again.

When the city wakes up, the bishops go to sleep. He isn’t worried about them, but about what will happen when they realize Tyler is gone. When Josh had disappeared, they assumed he had died. Besides a few heated hours of anger, nothing happened. This time though, Tyler was still under the watchful care of the mighty nine. He wasn’t sure what they would do or how they would react.

The plaza is empty, which isn’t surprising. Citizens only came here for food, when they were in their drugged hazes. He reckons they weren’t even aware of what they were buying or when they were eating it. It was heartbreaking when he thought about it.

Tyler knows the Banditos will come to rescue everyone again. They are rebels for a reason, and now that they have Josh.

He waits patiently on the edge of the fountain, one leg crossed over the other, and taps his fingers against his knee. Tyler has the flower petals in his pocket because like Josh said, they were the hope of a people. He needed hope, especially now.

Tyler jumps with every small sound. He’s worried the watchers will catch him because even if he manages to play it off that he’s under the effects of the drugs, they will know he’s lying. Why would he be carrying around a bag full of clothes? 

He knows he can only play dumb for so long. If Tyler gets caught, they will put him back under the effects, and he will never have a chance of getting back to Joshua Dun.

Finally, after what seems like ions of waiting, Tyler can spot the flicker of torches down the path to the square. He jumps up from the fountain and swings his bag over his back, his hands shaking. As the group approaches, he notices they hide their faces in yellow bandanas and glasses, their torches held high. They aren’t afraid of the bishops like Tyler is.

They also have yellow tape stuck to their clothes, yellow that matches the color of the flowers. The one in front steps forward and pulls his bandana around his neck, a big smile spreading across his face. Tyler smiles back and runs to meet him in the middle, pulling Josh into a bear hug.

“You came back for me,” he whispers.

Josh laughs. “I promised I would. Sorry it took so long. We needed to plan. Now let me look at you.” Josh isn’t holding a torch like the others, so his hands are free to roam the length of Tyler’s face. He tilts his head up, embracing Josh’s cold touch after so long, and hums.

“They continued to shock you, huh?” He frowns as his fingers brush across Tyler’s scarred temples.

“I guess I really was that special,” teases Tyler. Josh grabs his waist and pulls him in for a kiss. It’s soft, sweet, and tender, just like it had been their last night together. Josh is a burst of familiarity in this horrible, dark place. Tyler doesn’t want to pull away, but he knows he must. They have to get out here still.

“God, I’ve missed you,” Josh mumbles into Tyler’s neck. He sits up and looks around the plaza. “We have to go now.”

“Of course,” Tyler agrees. He rests his hands on the straps of his backpack and awaits further instructions. Josh glances at the rebels behind him and nods his head, alerting one to join the reunited couple. They stretch out a bit of yellow tape and Tyler stands still as they drape it across his shoulders.

Josh smiles. “You’re one of us now.” He turns back. “Go ahead. We’ll catch up.”

They listen, even the one that put the tape on Tyler’s shoulders. Tyler watches, his gaze flickering from the retreating Banditos and Josh. With a sigh, Josh reaches for Tyler’s shoulders and steadies him.

“Are you okay?” He doesn’t seem convinced.

“I’m fine,” promises Tyler. “We should go before the watchers find us.”

“You’re right.” He looks back into the city. “I wish we could save everyone.”

“We will, someday. Dema won’t control us.”

That’s enough for Josh. He takes Tyler’s hand, and with one last look at the towering buildings of the Dema prison, they disappear.

-

“You never told me what makes you so special,” Tyler says as they walk in between the caverns of Trench. Even by torchlight, the mossy cliffs and babbling creeks are beautiful.

“Nothing makes me special,” he replies, looking ahead. “I’m just really good at pretending.”

“There are a lot of things that make you special,” Tyler argues. “That’s why I love you.”

Josh blushes. Tyler knows he’ll blame it on the torches. “You do love me?”

“Of course I love you. How could I not love Josh Dun?”

He laughs. “I love you too,” he says, squeezing Tyler’s hand. “If you really wanna know what makes me so special, maybe I’ll show you in the bedroom.”

This time, Tyler blushes. “I can’t wait.

-

When the city dies, the bishops awake. In the plaza are a pile of bright yellow flower petals-- it’s all that remains of the Banditos. The bishops are angry, but the city knows.

There is hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Josh is special because he's really good at sex. 
> 
> Just kidding. Honestly, I left his specialness ambiguous because I felt it fit better with his character in the Dema universe.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Come talk to me at pastelxmess on Tumblr :-)


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